I awoke this morning at 2:45am to what sounded like faint coughing. I looked at the baby monitor and noticed dark blotches all over the crib… Shiloh was still laying there attempting to sleep. I went in and was greeted by the stench of vomit. Baby boy stood up and I noticed he was shaking. The vomit was red, and all over the crib. All over my son. It’s the fist time he’s been sick.
Today is his second birthday . . .
He got sick several more times, once on and over my shoulder as I held him in the kitchen and sang a lullaby to him telling him he was going to be okay. I realized I was wearing my “Find Joy in the Journey” shirt that I had purchased in the early months of motherhood. It became a night shirt last month when I got a couple of bleach stains on it after cleaning the bath tub (we typically NEVER use bleach to clean). It’s the same shirt that I wore for the first time to noon prayer at church only to have Shiloh spit up on me as an infant before we even made it into the sanctuary. Spit up then as a baby, vomit now as a toddler.
I find myself tired and cranky from the events of the early morning and day. I wanted to do something special to celebrate him, but I feel that the Lord is reminding me of two things: finding joy in the journey and resting.
I’m blessed to have made it two years without Shiloh having any real illness. He’s yet to even have a fever. I’m sure over the course of his life he will have more days like this. And I’m sure as a mama my heart will break just a little with each day he isn’t feeling 100%. But I will try to find joy in the journey—in the hard, messy, scary moments of motherhood. I will try not to allow fear to grip me and steal my joy, because God is greater. If He can calm a storm and walk on waves, I can be that strong, unwavering, pillar Baby Boy needs in times of sickness. After all, His strength is made perfect in my weakness. The past two years have been quite a journey. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. ❤
Happy Birthday Baby Boy.
P.S. The red was from blueberries he had with dinner last night (Whew). 😉