Total Surrender


The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
-Psalm 37:23-24

For being immobile at the current moment, I sure am getting a lot done. I’m reading three books, setting goals, learning the guitar, writing a devotional, working on Deliverance Training Boot Camp (after putting it on hold for 8 months due to finishing school), learning Spanish (LOVE the Duolingo app!), working my jewelry business (what I can), and working on the Power Productivity Program through in effort to become more organized (breath). Oh, and scanning photos and articles of my dad’s for his upcoming celebration of life Saturday (double breath). Believe it or not, I actually haven’t felt stressed at all. I have plenty of time in the day to do these things since I can’t walk, so it’s been pleasant crossing things off of my daily to-do list.

But that’s it.

After talking to my pastor this morning and explaining all of the different things I want to do and am praying about doing (like partaking in a specific ministry for City Plan, and returning to school at Southeastern University for church music and ministry), she reminded me that I need to slow down and ask the Lord what HE wants me to do.

I had a dream last night that I jumped off of a rock into some water after my friends had, and as I did I sank to the bottom and ended up on my back on the floor atop some seaweed. I began freaking out because you never know what is hiding under that stuff, and as I tried again and again to swim up to the surface I couldn’t. I was drowning. I finally broke away but couldn’t make it to the top in time. Water filled my lungs.

Are we so busy, even with the things of God that we often feel as though we are drowning? I don’t feel as though I am, but God often speaks to me in dreams because my mind is so busy throughout the day. Perhaps He knows something I don’t? (DUH!) When I cover my daily prayer list I need to pray out loud because if I don’t my mind will drift to something off topic. It truly is difficult for me to be still. Okay, for my mind to be still.

I think a lot of us have this desire to do something worthwhile and we are afraid of missing the mark. We set goals, organize our lives to a “T,” yet still feel as though we aren’t living out God’s will for our lives. Perhaps He has gifted you is several different areas like He has me, and you simply can’t hone in on one area, so you try to cover them all. It’s times like this when all we can do is press in and ask Him to speak to us regarding what He wants us to do. But we have to listen. It’s in these moments of total surrender, when the mind is calm and the heart receptive, that He will speak. If we plan too much, we won’t remain open to the direction He could have us go.

Prayer starter: Lord, speak to me. I only want to do that which you would have me do and nothing else. If there are several things, please make those clear to me. You alone know the way in which I should travel.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” -Psalm 127:1



4 thoughts on “Total Surrender

  1. Jenn
    Thank you, friend….I am reminded of Psalm 37:7a, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him…” You have so much to offer….Good advice from your pastor to take a step back and allow God to prioritize your talents and gifts that fits the purpose HE has for you….I was so blessed reading his and LOVED the peaceful picture – beautiful…..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A great word! Thanks! A fellow blogger and I have been having discussions about this – what use is it to write anything if the writing is not initiated and led by the Spirit? So we have both had times where we don’t write. We find ourselves feeling guilty and unproductive, so we call each other up and talk about it, and then we realize that we are in a time of rest and/or learning, NOT writing. And then we can relax and wait for the Spirit to put the ‘pen’ back in our hands. (By the way, I have NOT forgotten about your question regarding Abraham and the Israelites! I am still trying to write something useful that isn’t as long as a book.)

    Liked by 1 person

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