In an hour I will leave for a follow-up appointment with my surgeon. Of the six incisions from my recent total ankle fusion, only one set of stitches remains. Two weeks after surgery the others came out, however, the ones in my heel weren’t ready to come out, so they put the cast on and told me they would remove them later.
The pain from the removal of the stitches was excruciating . . . I laid there biting my fist, tears streaming down my face, and the nails from my other hand digging into the wall. I thought my pain tolerance would have been high after 11 surgeries. So, the thought of the stitches being removed from my heel today after 6 weeks of my skin having healed around them made me a bit nervous. Not to mention I would have a new cast put on, which isn’t pleasant in and of itself. Sawing off the cast is the worst, as I have severe nerve damage in my foot, so the slightest vibration sends shooting pain through my body. I’ve taken a pain pill for the first time in over 2 weeks to prepare me for this. (Although I was on them when they took the other ones out and they clearly didn’t help.) I hate those pills . . .
Surprisingly though, I’m not very nervous. I have peace about it. I know that God has me in the palm of His hand, and He is whispering to me “do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) I’m still believing for my miracle. Each time I go to an appointment I am ready for the moment when they take off my cast or do an x-ray and I have FULL motion in my ankle, and ALL hardware has dissolved. I imagine the testimony that would be to the hundreds of doctors, nurses, and x-ray technicians who have treated me in the past six years. But it’s all on God’s timetable, not mine. In the meantime I will continue to trust in Him as my strength and my shield, just as this verse reminded me during my Bible study this morning:
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
and with my song I praise him.